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December 24, 2013

Varsity Club Christmas Message

INDIANA -- A heatfelt Merry Christmas to all those fine folks that hold Hoosier Hysteria so dear. How great it is that so many people across so many communities find this wonderful common denominator in high school basketball. While there are many, many regulars on the message board that I have yet to meet in person, I feel like we're old friends. Please enjoy our annual holiday offering...

*** The Night Before Christmas ***

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the county,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Southmont Mountie.
AD's printed programs and popped corn with care,
In the hopes that basketballs would soon fill the air.

The fans nestled all snug in their familiar seats,
A hot Barn Burner could not be beat.
The reporters on hand with camera and pen,
Had just arrived, Let the action begin!

The lights on the ceiling were on and aglow,
Giving off a luster to the hardwood below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should arrive,
But a pair of officials and two starting fives.

More rapid than Kouts Mustangs these cagers they came,
And the coach whistled, and hollered instructions he sang.
"Press! Box out! Cut him off! Shoot the three!"
Hit the jumper, get fouled. How bad can these refs be?

Red Devils, Falcons, Hatchets, Eagles, and Saints,
Too many classes could make any fan faint.
So up to the rim these Alices they flew,
With the ball in hand between an Northview Knight or two.

As I drew up my pen to jot down a note,
The officials' whistles sounded a note.
"Foul on 32!" the zebra did cry,
"Sir, you are horrible." the coach said with a sigh.

His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry.
The cheerblock went crazy - a rowdy bunch of Logansport Berries.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a pea,
The official responded by calling a T.

New Castle Trojan fans wailed and cried,
Boone Grove Wolves thought surely they'd died.
Slicer fans groaned and the Hauser faithful nearly threw up,
The floor was showered with programs and crumpled soda cups.

All evening his partner had made up for his portly condition,
Working twice as hard because he was always out of position.
Muncie fans were livid, their eyes full of rage,
Was it possible this ref could top their ex-coach's age?

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old dude,
The Kokomo crowd answered his T with a chorus of boos.
The reaction of the fans, the ref had affected.
The loudest Kat offender soon was ejected.

The ref spoke not but went back to his game,
And his next call was greeted with more of the same.
So laying the finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod to the very last rows.

He grabbed the microphone and addressed the rabid crowd.
The stands went silent, his voice rang out loud.
And I heard him exclaim in a voice filled with reason,
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good season."

It happens nightly all over our great state,
Hoosier Hills, NCC, and even Big Eight.
Fans will get angry and scream to the ceiling,
About an official's call that sent their home team realing.

As bad as it can get in every corner of state,
Blood presures rise, and boy is it great.
You see we all come back night after night,
To watch our great game beneath the bright gym lights.

Jug Rox and Clovers battle from east to west,
Mohawks and Millers each one feels they're the best.
Many fans wonder what the State might pass,
But when it comes to Hoosier Hysteria all our teams have class.

Merry Christmas!


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